All the things you should say, but dont

Last year my grandmas last remaining sibling died. She was unable to fly at the time so my mother attended representing our family. A kind cousin made us a copy of the funeral, and we all watched it. My mother, grandmother, and I. All three generations. It was beautiful really, so many people shared stories of who he was, and how he had impacted their life, and at the end you got the sense that had a stranger been there, he would have walked away wanting to know this man who had just died. As I was watching it, I kept my eye on grandma, who at times was smiling, and other crying. At the end, she says quite wishfully, "I hope some of those things are said about me." It hit me! Ding, light bulb, theme music, slow motion you name it, it was all there ushering in an idea, a great, yet simple idea. "Why the hell do wait till a person is gone to stand before them and honor them? Sure my great Uncle knew he was loved while he was alive, but dam I bet he hadn't heard all this?! So I decided that fate would not befall my grandma, she still has much of her mind, and I will not let her die, or fall into the clutches of Alzheimer's fully until she knows how we feel. Not just us, but her colleagues from years past, the children of her deceased best friends, her extended relatives, some students, immediate family, and, well, me. Now it's the new year an in typical Opal fashion we are sending out her 'Christmas Cards' in January, but before I close the envelopes I slip a paper in them telling them that as a gift for her 90th birthday, I plan on presenting her with a book, or album filled with letters of memories, stories, tall tales, and a few pictures all about how my grandma impacted those around her. I asked that they be sent fast so I would have time to get them in. And sure enough not but one week later I received a letter from the son of one of her dearest friends who had passed away many years ago to the same disease. I don't know the man, all I know is that he, and his sisters were blessed enough to have a great mother, and know a woman as amazing as my grandma. He is a lawyer, a busy one, and yet here the letter is. I think part of me feared that maybe people wouldn't respond, that maybe they wouldn't think it was all that important. But I was wrong. I have about fifty letters in an envelope, it is now four days before her birthday, and although I don't know how I will get it done, I will, not because I have to but because this last hospital visit reminded me of why I had such urgency to begin with. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, we never have been. While she was in the hospital, I decided who cares about the dam album right now she needs to hear these, she needs to know this! So while she laid in her hospital bed, I read them to her, a few nurses even stopped as they were walking by to hear what was being read. I think they stopped because they saw the humanity, and love. In that moment she was not a 90lb frail Alzheimer's patient, but she was the result of a life well lived, filled with love, service, and faith. So tomorrow my goal is to finish this album, and present it to her from all the people whose lives she has touched. Friends, people who read this, I know we hear 'life is hort' and all these sayings written on mugs, and magnets, but I have looked into the eyes of a woman far gone and seen the glimmer of hope and happiness as she heard the words I read. Grab someone today, call somebody, tell them who they are, and what they mean to you! Now, I need to write mine, it's hard to find the words because I feel this past year we have lived together, has been my letter to her, my love letter if you will, but I know God will give me the words, just as hes given me the grace to move through this transition with her.

Blessings~Z