Where do you start?

I felt guilty when after logging in I see my last post was before her Birthday. I guess I've been to busy living it, with not to many spare moments to write about it, funny you have to break from life to write about it?! Kind of silly if you think about it. I'm finding I am posting so many updates to Facebook that blogging is a bit of a redundancy. Here is the problem though. When grandma is gone, and I want to remember the exchanges/moments it should be in one place ~ here! So, I will work real hard at blogging the updates from here forward.

Wow, Hospice. Hospice, hospice. No matter how many times I say it, the word sounds foreighn. Do not get me wrong, I am not wantng her to live for many more years, selfishly holding on. In fact I want her to leave, pretty soon. But how do you reconcile that? " I love you grandma, you are a second mother to me, but please die now" My heart gets it, but my mind still grapples with it. Back to Hospice. I sit at the table cassualy offering M (we shall call her) eating a doughnut, cassualy talking about the next steps. It was like talking to a realotor, or buying a car.... How many check ups do we get, what do we do to make it run smoothly, is this honda the right color, what if it dies, what if I dont like how it drives etc. Anyone looking at us, would think a car or house deal was taking place, but no here we sit discussing matter of factly the demise of my grandma.

Who is my grandma? Some of you know, others of you dont. I ask my friends to pray, and they do. Not because they know her, or love her, but they love me so they do. I want to tell you who your praying for, who I am loosing, who the world is loosing.... I will make it a short list so you dont fall asleep on me =)

She grew up in a sod house in Kansas, six kids to one bed head to toe, along with burlap bags for a dress.
She put herself through college, partly because a stranger told her she couldn't
She taught for roughly 40 years, along with P.E teacher, and counselor.
She is quite the lady, fur coats, jewelery, wool pencil skirts, and perhaps a pair of sharp spectators =)
I could do no wrong, if I wanted to be an oscar she would tell me I must include her in my acceptance speach.
When I wrote poetry she saved it in a folder, which she has till this day.
She listened, for hours if need be.
She loved me, so strongly people would struggle to understand it.
And, she is the ONLY family member who has said she KNOWS I will have another baby.

This is a glimpse into the woman who is fading so fast he looks like an image out of 'Schindlers list'.
I will write more later, but I wanted to share a song that has been meaningful for me.

http://youtu.be/KeNSlQWdgec